Refusal Not to Fly
for Nathan Bright Keegan, 1983-2007

As I make my way to your funeral,
I drive too fast.
I accelerate the motorcycle
along the outside curve of the exit ramp,
around a car already over the speed limit,
cut him off
and speed ahead.

I am not late.
Like you, I want to fly.
With a reckless, careless, endless intensity.
I speed past the traffic light
without noticing the color.

I have a thousand questions.
Each blurring streetlight that flashes by
whispers an answer
that falls on a fleeting shadow.
My head down without a helmet,
I miss the light held by your sister driving ahead.

A police cruiser passes
going in the opposite direction.
In my rearview mirror
I see his brake lights illuminate.
I make a left and accelerate into an immediate right
and cruise up a parallel street.

It is 192 miles from Biddeford
to Little Cranberry Island.
A distance measured from seven pounds
to beyond six feet;
from your first step to all the answers
that did not fit your questions.
A path that constantly turned
the horizon on its side.

I find the street to St. Bart’s.
I slow down and pull in.
Faces turn at the noise the tires make as I stop.
I make my way through the memories of your life,
littered with tears and smiles;
Scars and hands extended.

There is a tangle of family and friends.
There are answers here
that have caught up to your questions,
questions that may fit some of your answers.
There is a brother whose world has turned darker.

You always wanted to fly
and sought those paths;
carefully, carelessly, intensely.
And with passion and friends.

I will listen to the images
and comfort the memories
and I will leave with the fire of your passion.


SP


Nate's obit, it should be noted is of Pulitzer quality. Check it out;

http://www.legacy.com/mainetoday%2Dpressherald/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=87403789